Afternoon Crumbs

January 2, 2018 / Posted by:

Chris Zylka (from The Leftovers) became Parasite Hilton’s latest fiancé when he proposed to her in Aspen with a $2 million diamond ring. Either that “$2 million diamond ring” is really a $2 glass ring from the sale section at Charming Charlie or Parasite upped her boy toy’s allowance so he could buy it. No matter the case, that ring is busted ugly and looks like a giant bedazzled roach. You may say that having a roach engagement ring is fitting for Parasite, but it’s really not. Roaches will be around forever while Parasite’s latest engagement will last about as long as a herp outbreak. And I’m being generous  – Just Jared

Everybody got engaged over New Year’s… Well, everybody except for Jennifer Lopez and Alex Rodriguez. They probably haven’t gotten engaged yet because she’s still working out her wedding finger to make sure it’s strong enough to hold the 45,000 carat diamond ring she’s going to make him buy her – Lainey Gossip

And while I got engaged to several bottles of vodka during the New Year’s holiday, Alexa Ray Joel got engaged to a human man – Celebitchy

Now I know why today’s HSOTD jumped that cop – Boy Culture

This is stupid, but any internet fad that involves dudes showing off their nipples is fine by me – Towleroad

If you ate a bunch of cotton candy and then barfed it up, the shade of your vom puddle would probably be just like Hailey Baldwin’s hair color – Drunken Stepfather

And as I scrolled through the pictures of reality messes spending New Year’s, my eyes were punched by the horrifying sight of Dorinda Medley’s yellow rayon wig. That is the opposite of “make it nice”Reality Tea 

While vacationing in Mexico with giant Canadian boob Justin Bieber, Selena Gomez got her boob grabbed by a friend – Hollywood Tuna

Andy Cohen, Anderson Cooper and everybody else involved with CNN’s New Year’s Eve train wreck should spend 2018 in jail for cutting off Celine DionOMG Blog

Victoria Justice is giving you “extra in the party scene from Clueless” – Popoholic

America Ferrera is expecting a kid – HuffPo

And so is the one from Fall Out Boy who was married to Ashlee SimpsonPopBuzz 

Pic: Instagram

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