Night Crumbs
Universal was planning to do their own Marvel-style Dark Universe franchise filled with reboots of classic monster movies. They did the wet turd reboot of The Mummy starring Tommy Cruise and they were planning to do The Bride of Frankenstein, possibly starring St. Angie Jolie. But Universal has apparently killed and buried all plans for a Dark Universe. So now you can go back to remembering Tommy as part of a much more scarier and darker universe called Scientology – Pajiba
Everybody who works at The Los Angeles Times better carry a block of cheese with them, because Mickey Mouse and his goons are going to try to jump them for making Disney look bad and they’ll need to distract him with something as they run for their lives! – Lainey Gossip
Julia Roberts’ advice in life is to give birth to a ginger. I’m trying, Julia, but the royal ginger I’m trying to mate with has a restraining order against me – Celebitchy
Brandi Glanville should go ahead and pre-book a nose re-attachment surgery with her plastic surgeon, because NeNe Leakes is gonna rip that already-pinched and cinched schnoz off of her face – Reality Tea
The fuck is Gay Talese even talking about? And what does he want Jesus to suck exactly? – Towleroad
“Hello, my name is Chloe Grace Moretz and I’ll be your Mary Kay rep today. But can you place your order quickly because I have a candy striper shift at the hospital I have to run to after this.” – Popoholic
Never complain about your job again, because Heidi Klum is out there laboring hard while doing a bikini photo shoot on the beach – Drunken Stepfather
Jeffrey Tambor is the latest dude of Hollywood to be accused of sexual harassment, and he denies it all – Just Jared
Pic: Universal