Hot Slut Of The Day!
Holly, the money hungry dog who’s a dog after our own money hungry hearts!
Cynicism is always running through my veins, but that shit doubled when I read this story about an adorable dog who has been ALLEGEDLY hoarding money like a small town stripper hoping to run off to Hollywood to become a STAH (but whose reel will only be filled with a soft-porn clip and a video from TMZ of her being in the passenger seat of some Vanderpump Rules’ douche when he gets arrested for DUI). My eyes squinted into the “Why are you pissing on my head and calling it rain?” position and figured that Holly’s humans probably put that money in her mouth and came up with the story that she trades it for treats. But you know, this story is about two wonderful things, money and dogs, so I’ll take it and stamp it with the HSOTD seal of approval.
The Dodo says that Holly is 5 years old and has lived with her family since she was a puppy. There’s a chance that Holly came from Pimp Mama Kris’ womb and her born name is Kolly Kardashian, because she’s a thieving money whore to the core. Holly’s human Casi Cook tells The Dodo that like most puppies, Holly constantly stole stuff including cash. Holly would hold the money in her mouth and Casi was afraid she’d swallow it (because who wants to hand the cashier at Target a bill covered with pooch caca while trying to buy a wine cube and turkey jerky). So Casi would chase her around and try to get her to drop the money by offering her a treat. Holly began to realize that she could trade this beautiful thing called money for another beautiful thing called food. And that’s what she did and continues to do.
Casi is a server so she comes home with a lot of cash from tips. When Holly hears Casi counting money, she lights up and comes a running. Holly’s cash stash has grown to $87 and she now knows she can use her fortune to buy other things besides treats, like food from the dinner table.
Casi says that Holly is also very serious about her cash, and if you try to steal the money that she stole from you, she’ll come for you with a loaded kissing mouth:
“She only uses them to buy treats. Or, if we are sitting down to have dinner, halfway into dinner she will walk over quietly and just place a dollar on our laps because she wants a treat. If you take her money she will honestly just follow you and nudge you and jump on you and give you kisses until you give it back.”
Yes, this could all be some fakery to get Holly Cook an endorsement deal with a savings and loan company (which I hope she gets), but this story will definitely inspire some. As soon as Tyga and Lindsay Lohan read a story about a dog who steals people’s money and then uses that stolen money to get whatever she wants from the person she stole it from, they’re going to run out and rent an adorable dog costume. I hear you mean whores saying, “Um, they are already dogs.” The key word here is “adorable.”
Pics: Casi Cook via The Dodo