Night Crumbs

If that man in the suit is one of your relatives, please go down to the United Nations in NYC and immediately wake him up with some blessed smelling salts, because he’s obviously been stunned frozen from being in the presence of God’s God  – Lainey Gossip 

Everyone who fapped to that “hunky Florida cop” is now wishing that they could take their fap back – Celebitchy

I can almost hear the photographer that Maxim hired screaming, “Devon, baby, give me that sexy naked shitting pose!” – Drunken Stepfather

The other Real Plasticwives of Beverly Hills tried to win at the game of fashion, but Erika Jayne easily beat them by dressing like a flight attendant on Majorette Airlines – Reality Tea

My new favorite fetish is watching a shirtless Henry Rollins and a shirtless artist paint each other’s nipples – Towleroad

“Hello, welcome to the Colonel Sanders’ Go Go Bar, I’m Rachel and I’ll be your hostess tonight.” – Popoholic

Michelle Williams really does have a lock on all the “frazzled and sad” mom roles in Hollywood. On another note, Kevin Spacey in dusty Grandpa Getty face, would you? – Pajiba

Emily RideAJetski’s Posh Spice cosplay gets a no from me – Hollywood Tuna

Good news for the makers of insulin, but bad news for meth dealers: Jolt Cola is back – SOW

To think, Jennifer Lawrence could be married to Deadpool right now  – Jezebel

Michelle Rounds, Rosie O’Donnell’s ex-wife, died on Monday of suicide – Just Jared

All of the pink dresses are turning black today, because Harry Dean Stanton (Andie’s dad in Pretty in Pink and much, much more) has died – TMZ

Pic: Getty