The Bill Cosby Case Has Been Declared A Mistrial

June 17, 2017 / Posted by:

Bill Cosby, aka “a major sign that your childhood is not only dead but also a lie,” won’t be self-righteously scolding the younger cons in gen pop for their pants sagging too low in the back just yet. Five days of deliberation by the jury in his case for sexual assault has resulted in a mistrial. Hang on to your Jello Pudding Pops, this horror’s never going to be over.

TMZ reports that, despite the jury coming out and telling the judge they were deadlocked on Thursday and the judge sending them back in to get their shit together, they still couldn’t agree on Cosby’s guilt. The judge wouldn’t let them back into the Pennsylvania courtroom until 9:30 PM last night. They deliberated 12 hours a day for 52 hours, which was longer than the actual trial. The New York Times reports that here’s no word on how prosecutors will re-try Cosby on the three sexual assault charges. Keshia Knight-Pulliam is already selecting which scarf and top she’s going to sport on the next shameless courthouse sashay.

The hung jury means that the Montgomery County District Attorney, Kevin R. Steele, must decide whether to retry the case. Once again, he will have to balance the fact that dozens of women who have leveled similar accusations at Mr. Cosby had looked to this case as likely the only chance to hold him criminally responsible, against the value of pursuing a 79-year-old defendant who is fighting blindness, whose career and reputation are in tatters, and for whom a prison term could amount to a life sentence.

Cosby didn’t react to the decision except to rub his face with his hands. His accuser, Andrea Constand, reportedly just stared straight ahead.

“This is neither a vindication or a victory,” said Judge O’Neill who praised the jurors for their service and asked them not to discuss their deliberations. “They are yours and yours alone.”

The FORTY-PLUS WOMEN (!!!) who have accused Cliff Huxtable and his ugly sweaters full of lies of allegedly drugging and sexually assaulting them over his six-decade career are probably having a really bad day today.


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