Afternoon Crumbs

May 5, 2017 / Posted by:

In honor of Mother’s Day, those known horny fast food hos at KFC have gifted moms with the 12th spice in their secret blend: a romance novel starring giant slice of hot white meat Colonel Sanders. I was going to say that KFC should sell a special lube that goes along with this fap material, but they don’t need to do that. If you want to lube yourself up before reading their romance novel, just squeeze the grease out of their chicken over you. And I’m mad at KFC for blocking Colonel Sanders’ crotch, because I need to see if he’s packing a wing or an extra meaty drumstick – Jezebel

Let’s continue the theme of romance with these pictures of Goldie Hawn and Kurt Russell christening her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame with their love – Popsugar

Bradley Cooper doesn’t want to talk babies, real or otherwise – Lainey Gossip 

On this Cinco de Mayo, let’s get into the hotness of Demián Bichir in a suit (just scroll past Assbender) – Celebitchy

Sonja Morgan really does want to be the Little Edie of the Upper East Side – Reality Tea

Panty Creamer of the Day: Bearded pieces in kilts doing leg work – Towleroad

Karlie Kloss models outfits that look like they were rejected by Beyonce for her Lemonade special – Hollywood Tuna

Are we really sure these are pictures of the real Jessica Biel? I’m not sure because Justin Timberlake isn’t cheesing it up behind her like the attention whore he is – Popoholic

Dove Cameron looks like she’s wearing a weightlifting belt that doubles as a waist trainer – Drunken Stepfather

Kimmy Gibbler sees all….. – SOW

Ariel Winter spit at the jealous, boring-dressed haters who just won’t let her be great (and elegant) – Just Jared

Quick Programming Note: Thanks to Ben for helping us this week while Allison and I both dealt with family stuff. I’m also checking out extra early today to deal with more family stuff. And if you’re thinking that “family stuff” is code for “celebrate Cinco de Mayo by getting day drunk with my cousins on the front patio of one of their townhouses,” you miiiight be right.

Pic: KFC

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