Night Crumbs

The first trailer for the female John Wick movie called Atomic Blonde is out, and let’s see… It’s got Charlize Theron whoopin’ tricks while wearing garters, a bad accent, late-80s fashions, a Queen song and John Goodman. I want it like it’s an 8″ peen that’s slathered in In-N-Out’s secret sauce – Lainey Gossip

Duchess Kate’s private secretary has quit, so if you’re looking for a job that probably includes brushing a royal’s luscious brown locks 100 times every night, you know where to send your resume – Celebitchy

Kendall Jenner is looking like she got the Kylie and Kim Special on her ass – Drunken Stepfather

Someone needed attention and that someone is La’Porsha Renae – Towleroad

Speaking of, it’s that time when Brandi Glanville brings out the dusty LeAnn Rimes shit to get more attention – Reality Tea 

I’m not really house-trained, I like tongue kissing and I have been known to sniff an ass or two. So can Sir Patrick Stewart please adopt me next? – The Superficial

Nicole Richie, come and get your sister, because she’s out there dressed like a 90s Lil’ Kim on a budget – The Nip Slip 

Dear, Ray Liotta, I’m sure the feeling is mutual for Sigourney Weaver – SOW

According to this map, you should probably avoid New Mexico if you’re a size queen – Manhunt Daily

Emily RideAJetSki is not on a jet ski, but she is in a two piece – Popoholic

Adriana Lima is also in a two piece in Ocean Drive – Hollywood Tuna

That is so not something Miley Cyrus would wear to her wedding. Everyone knows she’d wear white lace nipple thimbles, white platforms and a blue pussy patch – Just Jared

No. – Popsugar

Pic: Focus Features