The day before the Oscars, Natalie Portman let all the nominees know that they didn’t have to worry about her splattering their moment with birth fluids while pushing our her second kid in the aisle of the Dolby Theater in Hollywood. (Although, Moonlight’s moment ended up getting ruined anyway by goddamned Brian The Accountant!) Natalie skipped the Oscars and everyone figured it was because her second child with French ballerina dude, Benjamin Millepied, was just seconds away from pirouetting out of her vagine. But it turns out that Natalie skipped the Oscars because her second bay had already pirouetted out of her vagine and she was in no condition to get into a designer gown and put on a manufactured happy face as Emma Stone won the Best Actress Oscar.
Natalie’s rep released a statement today saying that she birthed out her and French ballerina dude’s second child, a girl, just four days before the Oscars.
“Natalie Portman and her husband Benjamin Millepied welcomed a baby girl, Amalia Millepied, on Feb. 22. Mother and baby are happy and healthy.”
Natalie and Benjamin’s first child, a 5-year-old son, is named Alpeh, so I guess they kept with that AM theme. That’s good she went with Amalia, because Natalie was channeling Jacqueline Kennedy through awards season so much (see: above) that I thought she was going to name the kid either Arabella, Caroline, John Jr. or Patrick. Or worse, she could’ve named her daughter Camalat.