Night Crumbs

Goopy Paltrow and her boyfriend, Brad Falchuk, are “Instagram official” now and he doesn’t look that happy about it. Or maybe he’s making that face because Goopy made him go on a horned melon juice and organic flaxseed cleanse and he’s trying to keep his bowels from exploding out of his ass – Lainey Gossip 

UsWeekly tells me that I only have a few months to prepare to do the biggest and most dramatic slow wall slide of sadness I’ve ever done – Celebitchy

I don’t know why, but magazines keep putting Hailey Baldwin on their cover – Drunken Stepfather

So Blair Waldorf is never going to get invited to one of Goopy Paltrow’s pussy steaming parties. And you know she has those – The Superficial

I see that contract renegotiations for Real Housewives of New Jersey have begun – Reality Tea

Since Trump isn’t going to be at the White House Correspondents’ dinner, Alec Baldwin wants to fill in for him as him – Towleroad

Bella Thorne’s pierced nip made a cameo appearance on her SnatchChat – The Nip Slip 

If you’ve ever wanted to bedazzle your kid, here’s the perfect product for you (I’m talking to you, Mariah) – Pajiba

Frapps do Our Lady of Cheetos’ body good – Hollywood Tuna

“Why does it look so shiny and sticky?” said the moms of nerds after seeing this Ghost In The Shell poster on their son’s bedroom wall – Popoholic

YEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!! – OMG Blog

Miley Cyrus, is that you? – SOW

The CGI’d young Johnny Depp in the trailer for the 789th Pirates of the Caribbean movie is going to eat my nightmares – Popsugar

Lorde has a new song out and methinks Taylor Swift is rubbing off on her… – Just Jared

Pic: Instagram