Hot Slut Of The Day!

February 6, 2017 / Posted by:

Lady Gaga’s hilarious “traumatized spider belly flopping into a pool” fall at last night’s Super Bowl, which the Patriots won for the 6,894,999th time. Tom Brady’s homegirl had it rigged, obviously!

Gaga’s halftime show opened with hundreds of lit-up drones and I figured they’d eventually spell out the words, “Fuck Trump,” but instead, she played it more subtle, kept it mostly politics-free and didn’t blatantly shit on him. Although, I guess her singing a bit of This Land Is Your Land was her getting in a subtle political statement.

As expected, Gaga opened the show by jumping off of the roof of the NRG Stadium in Houston and she jumped like a newbie Spider-Man who is afraid of heights. It’s how I jumped the hell out of 2016.

But everyone was TRICKED! This is what Gaga’s jump looked like to the people sitting in the stadium. You know Pink was sitting at home with a smug look on her face that screamed, “Vin-da-fucking-cated!”

Wired says that the FAA refused to let drones be within a 34.5 mile radius of NRG Stadium on Super Bowl night, so Gaga’s fall and the drone theatrics were shot last week.

And after Gaga tricked everyone with that fraudulent free fall, she went on to perform a family-friendly G-rated show. Honestly, I thought that Gaga would try to outdo Janet Jackson’s nipple by flashing 1/10th of a pussy lip or a quick glimpse of a b-hole or something. Is it truly a Gaga performance if it doesn’t make the heads of the One Million Moms pop off ?! Although, I did appreciate her gay-ing it up by singing Born This Way and doing herself up like Dazzler if Dazzler joined The Misfits.

And I bet that after Gaga’s performance, Mike Pence, who was there, excused himself to go to the little boys’ room (that’s what he calls it), and while in there, he silently screamed “YASSS KWEEN” before doing the Bad Romance choreography.

Pics: Splash

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