Night Crumbs
I always thought it was just a fable, but now I know it’s true, the Hello Kitty Unicorn Rainbow Empress is so magical that she queefs stars – Lainey Gossip
2016 has showed me that anything is possible, so Prince Hot Ginge saying goodbye to single life by getting engaged to Meghan Markle would get an “eh” out of me. And yes, after I let out an “eh,” I’d do a dramatic slow wall slide while crying and punching the air – Celebitchy
Rita Ora is giving me “mistress going to her mobster sugar daddy’s funeral” and I love it – Drunken Stepfather
The cast of Bravo’s Summer House look like the Children of the Damned if the Children of the Damned grew up and became Orange County trophy wives – Reality Tea
Taylor Hill is giving Bella Hadid a run for her dead eyed money – The Superficial
Lady Gaga’s video for A Million Reasons looks like a long-form Apple commercial – Towleroad
Some Canadian guy recreated the birth of January Jones’ baby – Hollywood Tuna
It looks like Katherine Heigl’s new Fatal Attraction meets Obsessed meets Hand That Rocks The Cradle movie is the greatest thing she’s ever done since those kitty litter commercials – Pajiba
I see that Abby Lee Miller is trying to get a raise from Lifetime – SOW
Donald Trump’s people actually found someone who wants to sing the National Anthem at his inauguration. I wonder what Jackie Evancho will say when she’s told the new National Anthem is Tomorrow Belongs To Me? – Just Jared
Will Smith did Suicide Squad over Independence Day 2, because it was new crap instead of old crap – OMG Blog
David Cassidy’s daughter is in a two piece – Popoholic
The Chenbot thinks The View is a mess too – Jezebel
Panty Creamer of the Day: A wet and shirtless Jason Momoa – Popsugar
Pic: Splash