Night Crumbs

Ryan Gosling tells GQ that Eva Mendes is a dream mother and his children are dream babies. I’m taking that to mean that his children sleep through the night, are 100% potty-trained, have never screamed on a plane, know how to make the perfect martini and like watching Real Housewives instead of episode after episode of Super Why! – Lainey Gossip

“If you listen closely, you can hear the birds above choking and dying from the stench wafting off of Joanna Krupa’s coochie,” said Brandi Glanville while looking at these pictures – (NSFW) Drunken Stepfather

Tinsley Mortimer joined Real Housewives of New York City to rebrand herself, so I guess she wants to go from vapid bore to vapid crazy – Reality Tea 

Marky “Celebrities Shouldn’t Talk About Politics” Mark is still talking about politics – Celebitchy

Someone named Lisa Opie must be going for the “Kylie Jenner on a budget” look – The Nip Slip

Madison Beer (who is once again not a beer from Wisconsin) is Justin Bieber’s latest au pair – The Superficial 

Swirl that chardonnay around and get that attention, Shemar Moore – Towleroad

I hope that Jessica Lowndes cleared this completely natural pap shoot with the Queen of Staged Photo Shoots Phoebe Price – Hollywood Tuna

Emily RideAJetSki is riding a jet ski! – Popoholic

Some peen and a cum puddle brought to you by a tattooed dude who was in a few movies – (NSFW) OMG Blog

Here’s Leonardo DiCatchAHo taking his nipples for a dip in Mexico – Popsugar

Kanye West seems to think that Donald Trump took their meeting seriously and wasn’t just using him to keep the circus going – Just Jared

Jake Gyllenhaal will sing out raw emotional musical notes in Sunday in the Park with George on Broadway – Vulture

Pic: GQ