Nickelback Is Unamused

December 3, 2016 / Posted by:

Canada’s shame Nickelback has had the misfortune of being unofficially known by humanity as “The Worst Band In The World” for some time now. A savvy group of musicians who appreciated irony would just laugh and go with it, perhaps using it to keep afloat on our vast ocean of pop culture. You would think any band whose frontman would marry Avril Lavigne would have a good sense of humor! But nope. Nickelback didn’t think it was “funny ha-ha” this week when the Kensington, Prince Edward Island cops threatened to punish drunk drivers by forcing them to listen to their music.

TMZ reports that Nickelback’s rep told the Canada Mounties to cut the shit.

A spokesperson for Kensington Police tells TMZ a Nickelback rep demanded they take down the Facebook post that went viral this week. The post warned holiday season DUI offenders they’d get hit with fines, criminal charges, driving suspension and “the office’s copy of Nickelback in the cruiser on the way to jail.”

The spokesmountie went on to say that the Nickelback rep was “polite” but lead singer Chad Kroeger and the others (who seem to be unaware of who they are and exactly what they’ve contributed to our tapestry of popular music) didn’t like being “the butt of the joke.” Maybe they should do what Hootie┬ádid and go country? The cops say that they never meant to embarrass the band, they were just looking for “an effective way to get the anti-DUI message to the public.” They found it because listening to that mess is way more painful than being tasered.

This story made me nervous. Most thinking people with souls in the US are currently looking longingly toward the north because it’s free of burgeoning despots (with an added bonus of Dlisted beauty Allison living there). People in the north must look longingly towards the south because it’s free of Nickelback. What if everyone snaps one day and finally flees towards what they think is a brighter future? It will be a 500,000 car pile-up at the US/Canadian border! Oh, who am I kidding? If given the option, I’d rather listen to the Nickelback boxed set on repeat seven days a week than having my American soul stuck permanently in SMH like it is right now.


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