Open Post: Hosted By Christopher Kane’s Croc Rocks From Hell

September 20, 2016 / Posted by:

That picture is singing (to the tune of Jenny from the Block): ♪♪ Don’t be fooled by the rocks on my Crocs, I’m not, I’m not sucking Satan’s cock ♪♪

And we’re all screaming: YES, YOU ARE!

Charms on Crocs have existed for a while now, and I don’t know why. Dress up a giant turd out of Satan’s ass all you want, but it’s still a giant turd out of Satan’s ass. But Scottish fashion designer Christopher Kane decided to bring some HIGH-FASHUN to the Ninth Circle’s footwear of choice. During his show at London Fashion Week yesterday, models stomped down the runway in fancified Crocs that had rocks and gemstones stuck in their orifices. That one above looks like a demon’s bloody organ that’s covered in hardened tumors, warts from Lucifer’s ass and crack rocks from space.

Lucy Thornley, Crocs vice president of women’s and kids product, tells WWD that if you want to look like you smoke crack while shopping for footwear, you can buy Kane’s Crocs at select stores:

While market details have yet to be finalized, Crocs estimates that the clogs will retail for more than $150. In contrast, the average Crocs clog retails for about $35.

The Kane editions will be sold with its custom Jibbitz included and the designer’s insignia stamped on each ankle strap. They will be retailed through “a very select list of stores that Christopher Kane current distributes to,” said Poole, and will not be sold in Crocs’ own stores.

Lucy left something out. Those Kane Crocs will cost you $150 plus your SOUL!

Pics: Getty

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