Hot Slut Of The Day!

The bored, hot and hungry helicopter dude who was bored, hot and hungry while hovering about The Difficult Brown’s lair for what felt like centuries yesterday!

For a good chunk of the day yesterday, TMZ had up a live feed of footage outside of Fist Brown’s Palace of Methed-Out Fuckery because people wanted to know if his latest mess was going to end with a Heat-like shootout or if the LAPD was going to take him up on his really tempting offer and siphon a wet doody bubble out of his asshole. (SPOILER ALERT: It ended with the tattooed and tweaked-out Jack Skellington getting arrested.) But before Chris visited his old friends at the police station, he sat outside of his house for forever. The ingrown hair on humanity’s puffy anus ring sat on the ground and talked to his lawyer as the cops searched his house The people watching waited for something to happen and nothing happened. It was like watching a skid mark dry. And one of the dudes in the helicopter capturing all the riveting footage co-signed that.

The helicopter dude didn’t know that we could hear the audio feed, and I know this, because at one point he said something like, “I hope they can’t hear the audio feed.” Dude narrated all the thrilling action, spit out jokes, covered the fires in Riverside County and dribbled out his quickie rendition of U Can’t Touch This. This cut of some of Bored Helicopter’s Dude’s moments doesn’t show the parts where he complained about being hot and wondered why there weren’t any snacks in there. It was very “bored kids in the backseat during a road trip.” I’m surprised that he and the other guy didn’t play the License Plate Game by looking at all the cars below them:

We know what happened to Chris Brown, but what happened to Bored Helicopter Dude?! Did he ever get some snacks? That really should be TMZ’s top, red-framed story today.