Hot Slut Of The Day!

Mayor Duke of Cormorant, Minnesota!

Mayor Duke was Hot Slut of the Day back in 2014, but I am re-electing him, because as America’s only trustworthy politician, he deserves it! The now 9-year-old Great Pyrenees destroyed his only opponent, a human store owner, 2 years ago when most of the 12 write-in votes cast went to him. Mayor Duke spent his first term sleeping, drooling, farting, sleeping, eating, begging and sleeping, and that’s much more than most human politicians do, so the people of Cormorant voted him into a second term in 2015! And on Saturday, Mayor Duke made history when he was re-elected for a third term in a historical landslide election. Mayor Duke didn’t even have to campaign. He didn’t have to hand out “#ImWithFur” or “Make America Bark Again”  t-shirts or suck a bunch of ass. (Sure, he sniffed and licked ass, but he didn’t do it for votes. He did it because he wanted to.)

WDAY reports that Mayor Duke has the highest approval ratings in the country and the 1,000 citizens of Cormorant could not ask for a better leader, so no one dared to run against him in this past election. Almost everybody voted for Duke. But because every good election needs a political SCANDAL, someone did cast a vote for Mayor Duke’s girlfriend and the First Bitch of Cormorant, Lassie. I see that there’s some House of Cards-like drama going down in the White Dog House. Why would I not be surprised if Lassie becomes the new mayor after Mayor Duke is impeached when DNA testing proves that the abandoned poop left on Gerda Nylund’s front lawn came from his ass. (In Minnesota, almost everyone’s last name is Nylund.) Maybe First Lady Lassie should be HSOTD since she’s obviously a political mastermind.

Before Mayor Duke gets outplayed by Lassie, let’s enjoy this video from ABC News of the people of Cormorant celebrating his latest victory!

The people really had no choice. They had to vote for Mayor Duke. Duke is the only one who can pull off that serious mayor hat.

Pic: WSET