Night Crumbs

Sarah Paulson went to an event wearing an ensemble that looks like the broken condom baby of a June bug and Dorthy Michaels from Tootsie, and I love it! – Lainey Gossip

Yolanda Hadid says she’s close to declaring victory in her battle against Lyme – Reality Tea 

Professional vacationer Lindsay Lohan is still on vacation – Drunken Stepfather

First of all, Kate Upton looks too human-like to look like a Kartrashian. Second of all, she better carry around several cans of pepper spray, because Khlozilla is going try to maul her if they ever meet in the streets – Celebitchy

Bella Thorne might be bumping coochies with her brother’s ex-girlfriend whose also named Bella. I’ve seen this Jerry Springer episode before…. – The Superficial 

A thing I did today: Spend way too long staring at Kristen Stewart’s butt because the headline made me – Popoholic

The Gay Bachelor says that he can’t stand fakeness. Well, then he’s gone to the right place, because we all know that reality shows are anything but fake! – Towleroad

Usain Bolt plucked another blossom from the garden of elegance – Hollywood Tuna

Speaking of blossoms from the garden of elegance, here’s two whose petals are also covered with demureness and gentility – The Nip Slip 

Connie Britton is probably phasing herself out of Nashville. Take Scarlett with you, Rayna! I beseech you! – Jezebel

This video for The View’s new theme song is some fuckery, but it’s not “Mary J. Blige’s Burger King commercial” levels of fuckery – OMG Blog

Renee Zellweger is talking about aging in Hollywood again – Just Jared

Kate Gosselin still exists and she’s still talking about her kids’ private lives for quick cash – HuffPo

Since Ryan Lochte is losing around $1 million in endorsements, he may be hungry for a check and where do sort-of famous tricks go when they need a check and some more attention? Dancing with the Stars, of course! – Popsugar

I still would – SOW

Pic: Getty