Ray J: The Penis That Unleashed The Kardashians On Us Got Married

August 13, 2016 / Posted by:

Here in Boston, the oldsters still harbor a kernel of resentment towards poor Bill Buckner. He’s the former Red Sox first baseman that let a ball go between his legs on October 25, 1986. That was during Game 6 of the World Series. Two days later, the New York Mets beat the Sox in Game 7, and Red Sox Nation began literally years of hanging Billy in burning effigy in its mind. Dude got death threats! Supposedly he’s been forgiven since then (we finally won the World Series in 2004 after waiting 86 years), but bring his name up and the lips of old people here in the Hub sometimes curl. Why am I talking about sportsball on Dlisted of all places? BECAUSE RAY J IS THE BILL BUCKNER OF OUR TIMES. That dude boned a lethargic Kim Kardashian in a sex tape, her mother leaked it was leaked, and now we live on Planet Kartrashian. I can’t be the only one with a “Fuck You, Ray J” tat, right? Anyway, he married his Love & Hip-Hop: Hollywood co-star Princess Love last night. The couple, who have been shown to have had a rather contentious relationship in the past, wanted and reportedly got a “dream wedding” and “a royal, elegant and enchanting reception fit for a princess and prince” according to their wedding planners. So he didn’t push her into the chocolate fountain?

“I just want her to have the time of her life and remember it as the best day in the world,” Ray J told PEOPLE ahead of the wedding. “Even when I wasn’t with her, I told my friends ‘She the one, she the one.’ It was just something about how I felt when she was around me.”

“He’s the only person I’ve ever been with that I couldn’t see myself without,” adds Princess Love, who wore a beaded Lazaro ball-gown for the ceremony.

People reports that legally certified “obnoxious asshole Ray J and Princess Love (is that her legal name?) were married at the Vibiana in LA. The Game was one of Ray’s groomsmen, and Ray’s sister Moesha (Brandy) was a bridesmaid. Singer Anthony Hamilton serenaded them as they walked down the aisle, and Brandy was set to sing “At Last” for the first dance at their reception. No word on whether Ray J planned on doing some private serenading of his own later by anointing his bride with the golden love that launched a 1000 celebrity famewhore nightmares back in 2003.

The bride sported the 8-carat halo diamond Ray J gave her when they got engaged on a “private tarmac” in front of their family and friends back in December. Their wedding will reportedly be featured on the next season of Love & Hip: We Got Married For The Show Hollywood. Expect their divorce to be highlighted on the season after that. I’m not hating; it’s just that past reality show storylines usually indicate future ones.


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