Night Crumbs
FYI: For those of you who thought that Donald Trump was more of a “bossy bottom” type, the magnificent and perfect logo for Trump/Pence 2016 lets you know that he thinks he’s a power top who drills the shaft all the way in – Towleroad
Things I need to look into doing this weekend: Changing my name so that my initials are “A.H.” – Lainey Gossip
DUH. – Celebitchy
Because Anna Wintour has made a secret pact with Satan to destroy American Vogue, Gigi Hadid and her “plotting your demise” brows are on the August cover – Drunken Stepfather
If your company’s entire IT department ran out of work early while covering their crotches, this is why – The Superficial
The Case of the Alleged Stank Pussy between Joanna Krupa and Brandi Glanville is still going on – Reality Tea
“She’s got a phone in her hand! Everybody jump overboard!” – Egotastic
Why in the hell is Selena Gomez wearing the necklace from Affair of the Necklace during the damn day? – Popoholic
There are people out there who still want to take selfies with Julianne Hough – Hollywood Tuna
Kelly Brook dipped her magnificent chichis into the sea in Italy – IDLYITW
What smoky-eyed, older celebrity dude who might be bi-polar shaved Alia Shawkat’s coochie at a party? The “smoky-eyed” clue made it too easy. It’s obviously Rocket the Raccoon – Pajiba
Still living the life: Kate Hudson is – The Nip Slip
If Blake NotSoLively’s stylists were going for “garden party dominatrix,” they kind of nailed it – Popsugar
Adriana Lima may be humping on Clint Eastwood’s son – Just Jared
Weekend Programming Note: Our regular weekend fuckery provider Martin is sadly no longer going to provide us with the fuckery on the weekend. I loved everything he did here and will miss him more than the peen bong I broke a few weeks ago. One of my favorite drunk messes and Dlisted’s longtime guest blogger J. Harvey is taking over the weekends from now on. You can drop him a tip here.