Sarah Silverman Nearly Died

July 7, 2016 / Posted by:

When reality hits you smack on the head, it ain’t pretty. You know those moments when you’re like “Is this really happening to me?“. I had one of the those moments last night while watching The Neon Demon. But, that’s not anywhere in the ballpark of how harrowing a week Sarah Silverman had. One of my favorite funny ladies, and ladies in general, nearly died last week. Thankfully, she’s ok now.

Sarah took to her Facebook to give an update on why she’d been radio silent for a little bit. Sarah had a sore throat, but didn’t think much of it. Eventually she decided to go to hospital. Lucky for her she didn’t just try and ride it out; turns out she hadĀ epiglottitis. The Wrap, in reporting the news, informs me, and now you, thatĀ epiglottitis is a potentially life-threatening condition wherein the base of the tongue swells up, thereby not allowing for air to pass to the lungs. Scary. Fucking. Stuff.

Sarah’s message to friends, fans and the hospital that saved her life is after the cut.

Hi. This is me telling everyone in my life at once why I haven’t been around. This will not interest everyone so feel free to disregard. I was in the ICU all of last week and I am insanely lucky to be alive. Don’t even know why I went to the doctor, it was just a sore throat. But I had a freak case of epiglottitis.

I owe my life to Dr. Shawn Nasseri, Dr. Robert Naruse, Dr. Rob Huizenga, every nurse, and every technician & orderly at Cedars who’s punch-the-clock jobs happen to save human lives on the regular.
There’s something that happens when three people you’re so close to die within a year and then YOU almost die but don’t. (That was me. I’m the one that didn’t die.) It’s a strange dichotomy between, “Why me?” and the other, “Why me?” They couldn’t put me fully to sleep for the recovery process because my blood pressure’s too low. I was drugged just enough to not feel the pain and have no idea what was happening or where I was. They had to have my hands restrained to keep me from pulling out my breathing tube. My friend Stephanie said I kept writing “was I in an accident?”

When I woke up 5 days later I didn’t remember anything. I thanked everyone at the ICU for my life, went home, and then slowly as the opiates faded away, remembered the trauma of the surgery & spent the first two days home kind of free-falling from the meds / lack of meds and the paralyzing realization that nothing matters. Luckily that was followed by the motivating revelation that nothing matters.
I’m so moved by my real-life hero, Michael, and amazing Sissies (blood & otherwise) & friendos, who all coordinated so that there wasn’t a moment I was alone. It makes me cry. Which hurts my throat. So stop.

Anyway there are some funny stories too. I couldn’t speak for a while and I don’t remember a lot of my “lucid” time, but Amy (the Zvi) told me I stopped a nurse – like it was an emergency – furiously wrote down a note and gave it to her. When she looked at it, it just said, “Do you live with your mother?” next to a drawing of a penis.

Also, when I first woke up and the breathing tube came out, I still couldn’t talk and they gave me a board of letters to communicate. My loved ones stood there, so curious what was going to be the first thing I had to say. They followed my finger, rapt, as I pointed from letter to letter until I finally spelled out, “Did you see ‘Hello My Name is Doris.'”

I love you all. Your friend,

I too would like to thank her doctors and everyone else involved in saving her life. Sarah’s been a bright star bringing the deep down belly laughs for a long time now. And she’ll always hold a special place in my heart because she kissed me on the cheek when I was 12 at her first performance of Jesus is Magic. Thank goddess above she’s alright. The world would be even more shitty without people who were willing to go stoned and barefoot at the Emmys.

Pic: Wenn

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