Hot Slut Of The Day!

June 21, 2016 / Posted by:

McDonald’s Orange Drink, the “it!” drink (or “shit drink,” depending on who you ask) of school functions and sporting events!

When my 3rd grade class “graduated” on the last day of school, we got a special gourmet catered lunch from McDonald’s that was paid for by our parents. The “gourmet catered lunch” was basically just cheeseburgers, fries and a plastic keg filled with the toxic nectar of the fast food gods: Orange Drink! My little classmates ran toward that Orange Drink keg as though it was a fountain of vodka and their last name was Lohan. It was orange-colored magic in a keg!

McDonald’s Orange Drink was a drink that couldn’t be called juice because the keg it came in was made of more natural materials than it was. It was served up at any function or event whose budget didn’t have enough money for Coke or even Shasta. I remember it tasting like a mixture of water, generic brand orange-flavored cough syrup, an overused truck stop bathroom urinal cake and Sweet ‘N Low, but Urban Dictionary’s description is pretty spot on:

It tastes like orange, but only not really. More like you mixed frozen orange juice, rain water, and paid a hobo a twinky to piss in it. That’s much closer to the actual taste. But for some reason watered down orange piss failed in marketing. Go figure.

If you’re wondering if I ever tasted water mixed with orange-flavored cough syrup, an overused truck stop bathroom urinal cake and Sweet ‘N Low, I don’t need to since I’ve tasted Orange Drink!

Pop Rewind says that sadly, McDonald’s retired the original Orange Drink a while ago and replaced it with Hi-C Orange Lavaburst in the US. McDonald’s may have done away with the original Orange Drink, but drops of it will forever live inside of my stomach because the human body still hasn’t figured out what to do with it.

Pic: Facebook

(For Rachel)

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