What The World Needs Now: A “Golden Girls” Themed Cafe

“Picture it, Washington Heights, 2016….”

With so much awful news kneeing us in the face left and right, it’s nice to finally get a warm kiss from a rainbow in the form of happy news. DNAinfo says that Rue McLanahan’s best friend, Michael J. LaRue (Rue and LaRue, they were meant to be), is opening up a Golden Girls-themed cafe as a tribute to her and he’s doing it in the Manhattan neighborhood of Washington Heights. This will be the greatest restaurant to hit Manhattan since Fashion Cafe!

The Rue La Rue Cafe is planning to open this September and it’s of course going to sell cheesecake as well as food that’s tied to characters and situations from the show. Michael, who was the executor of Rue’s estate and the administrator of her will, inherited many of her belongings including memorabilia from the show. He plans to decorate the cafe with Golden Girls memorabilia and he also plans to have live music with help from Rue’s personal piano. He said at a Community Board 12 licensing committee meeting that Rue’s son is his business partner and the Walt Disney Company (who owns the Golden Girls because Mickey Mouse’s evil ass owns everything) has given him the okay to make GG merchandise. He also promises that the last-surviving Golden Girl Betty White will be at the cafe’s ribbon cutting ceremony in September. Michael LaRue said this at the meeting:

“I believe I can turn this place into a mini-tourist [hub] in Washington Heights. I believe the neighborhood is going to support this. I believe the population exists here already.”

My idea of the perfect Golden Girls-themed restaurant is one that’s in Miami, looks like an exact replica of Blanche’s lanai and kitchen, serves only cheesecake made by Coco the gay cook and features a floor show starring GG impersonators acting out the Henny Penny episode. But I’m not going to bitch and moan about how Michael LaRue’s Golden Girls-themed cafe doesn’t sound very Golden Girlsy. This is what we all need now, and I’ll take it! Although, if someone opened up a hot dog cart and called it The Golden Girls Cafe, it’d be my favorite restaurant. I’m as easy as Blanche when it comes to the Golden Girls.