Hot Slut Of The Day!

Athena Cage!

Athena Cage was an R&B and pop chanteuse of the 90s and early aughts, and she had a few small hits like “Hey Hey” and “All Or Nothing.” Athena still performs today. But the song of hers that she’s probably most known for is “Nobody,” the duet she did with Keith Sweat.

I was at a restaurant last night when “Nobody” filled my ears hole and it took me back to awkward ass high school dances. “Nobody” came out in 1996 and they played it at pretty much every high school dance I went to. The visual definition of cringeworthy in 1996 was a bunch of teenagers grinding on each other to “Nobody” and the dudes mouthing Keith Sweat’s part and the chicks mouthing the Athena Cage part.

My fellow loser friend and I would sit and make fun of the girls as they mouthed, “Who can sex you like meeeeee?” Bitch stop! That song probably helped raise the teenage pregnancy rate in 1996 and it definitely helped raise the “losers rolling their eyes at the popular kids at high school dances” rate in 1996. And Athena Cage’s eyebrow situation in the video is an exquisite work of art. Nobody plucks like Athena Cage’s brow artiste:

And yes when this song played in the restaurant last night, you know I mouthed the “Who can lay your bod-aaaaaay down” part.