Open Post: Hosted By Iggy Pop Dropping Tons Of Pure Hotness On Cannes

May 20, 2016 / Posted by:

The news reported today that miles upon miles of white foam is covering the ocean off of the coast of Cannes and it’s obviously because everyone squirted out a geyser of crotch nectar when Iggy Pop worked it for the cameras yesterday.

Jennifer Aniston’s hair idol is in Cannes with Jim Jarmusch to promote the Stooges documentary Gimme Danger. At the photo call and screening for the documentary, Iggy gave me danger, sex, intrigue, rage and wet hot finger-sucking hotness. I’m sure there wasn’t a dry down low part left at the festival once Iggy got done posing for the cameras. Anytime anyone is about to pose for the cameras at Cannes, they should be shown these pictures of Iggy so they know exactly how it’s really done. While the likes of Kristen Stewart deliver the soft, cold dick of flip-offs, Iggy Pop delivered several passionate and hard flip-offs for the cameras. If you have the ability to see ghosts in pictures, I’m sure you can see one sitting and spinning on Iggy’s finger.

Iggy licked up the air, treated eyeballs to a taste of his charbroiled pork loin torso and stomped the floor in a pair of Gucci slides. One of Iggy’s legs is apparently longer than the other, which is why one sandal is a Creeper and the other is normal. But watch wannabe bitches copy Iggy’s style by wearing just one Creeper slide and watch their face go splat when they fall while trying to walk. They can’t do it like Iggy. And now I leave you with these tip-moistening pictures that are more effective than KY.


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