Here’s Blake Lively Wearing…Whatever You’d Call This Thing

May 13, 2016 / Posted by:

Blake Lively has two movies to pimp out at Cannes, which means she has a whole lot of fancy costume changes to get through. I don’t know if Blake’s stylist went into this week with a theme in mind, but I’m guessing that if there was one, it was “Fabric Store Fire Sale.” Earlier in the week she wore some dirty mustard silk number embellished with clearance bin ribbons. Before that it was a patched-together pageant gown covered in puce glitter. And today, she showed up to the photo call for her shark movie, The Shallows, in the pastel pink pincushion-looking ensemble you see before you.

I think that thing on her shoulders is leftover curtain fabric. Although I’m sure it’s what the fashion world would call a “titty-framing shoulder drape.” Of course, I may be wrong about it being curtains. There is a chance it’s actually one of Elizabeth Taylor’s casual weekend turbans that Blake bought at an auction and accidentally stretched out six sizes too large after it got twisted around the agitator in the washing machine. Later in the day she showed up to the premiere of Slack Bay wearing an entire Jo-Ann store discount section worth of dusty blue chiffon, pearl beads, and $0.99 iron-on sequin appliqués.


Michael made a joke yesterday calling Blake “Beige O’Hara“, but really, this look is all Southern Belle debutante. Why do I get the feeling that there’s a wide-brimmed hat covered in silk magnolia blossoms, a parasol with the name “Miss Blake” painted on the handle, and a Judith Leiber clutch bedazzled to look like a ticket to the Kentucky Derby tucked away in a closet somewhere at Blake’s house?

Here’s more of Blake from earlier today. I can’t wait to sew what she wears next. If I know anything about FINAL SALE items from the fabric store, my guess is a dress made from the last bolt of summer weight rayon and a random grey zipper.


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