Open Post: Hosted By The Butterfly One Working That Shiny Hose, Dahling

March 25, 2016 / Posted by:

A miracle greater than Jesus’ resurrection happened in London the other night. Mimi actually managed to walk a few steps on her own without any help from a full-time handler hired to be her human walking stick. If a naked Jesus was in the background juggling dragon babies breathing out rainbow-colored fire, you wouldn’t notice, because Mimi walking is a more miraculous sight.

While looking like a knock-off Barbie doll made by The Jim Henson Company, the Hello Kitty Lisa Frank empress of cotton candy glitter made her way to her show at the O2 Arena in London the other night. Mim mostly held onto her gentlemen-in-waiting, but there were special moments when she actually walked! Maybe Mimi got the power to walk on her own from those really hot sparkly pantyhose. That would make sense. I mean, my abuelita’s spanking hand seemed to get almost Hulk-like when she wore her church outfit: a sensible dress, extra thick support hose and open toe pumps. (You truly haven’t felt fear until an abuelita has raised her Hulk hand at you after you act a fool in church.)

Yup, it must be the pantyhose and now you know that superhero strength can be found in the hose section of JcPenney near you!


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