Night Crumbs
“I think I’d rather be doing anything than this, like taking a long shower and actually shampooing my hair,” thought Kristen Stewart as her giant 90s 3rd grader-looking girlfriend Soko kissed her mouth in public – Lainey Gossip
So LeBron James must be a shower… Do with that what you will – The Superficial
The rumor that Prince Hot Ginge is going to Yale Law School has been shot down. Oh well, I guess that means I better called the Yale janitorial department and tell them I no longer want that job cleaning the law school dorm bathrooms – Celebitchy
FYI: Brandi Glanville is a romantic who likes a dude who pulls her tampon out with his teeth. Also, brace your retinas for the pic of Brandi – Reality Tea
Heather Lockear’s daughter is doing ho stroll shoots on the beach – Drunken Stepfather
Selena Gomez looks like she got in a messy fight with an oversized men’s suit and got owned – Popoholic
The Porn Iguana gave “Bernie Sanders” a lap dance and now I suddenly feel the burn…..in my eyes. Excuse me while I dip them in bleach – IDLYITW
Okay, I’m back, but my eyes are burning again and this time it’s from Jennifer Garner’s “white-hot red carpet appearance” – Popsugar
Crispy Ronaldo’s Crispy Critters (or whatever the hell his fans call themselves) won’t let their barbecued idol enjoy his tea – Hollywood Tuna
Chord Overstreet still exists and so do his hard cum gutters – SOW
Things I may never ever be stoned enough to watch: Sausage Party – Towleroad
Mimi’s reality show has officially been announced and her Australian Shrek billionaire of a fiancé won’t be in it. That’s fine with me, but the dog she put in the dryer during her Cribs episode better be in it – Jezebel
That stupid lawsuit between Lindsay Lohan and the makers of Grand Theft Auto V is moving forward – Starcasm
From The Department Of It’s Hard Being Crazy Rich: Jerry Seinfeld sold a bunch of his cars for $22 million and not because he needed the money. But because he didn’t have room for them – HuffPo
Panty Creamer of the Day: Tom Hopper in Men’s Health – Just Jared
Pic: FameFlynet