Night Crumbs

Are you a high-priced hillbilly hooker who has been looking for a pair of stunningly elegant fuck-me denim boot chaps to wear on the job? Well, your dream has come true thanks to RiRi’s new mega classy shoe line! But seriously, only two people are going to buy those boots: Miley Cyrus and Prince – Lainey Gossip 

Speaking of Jehovah’s Most Pucker-Inducing Witness… – Mashable

Nina Simone’s daughter doesn’t hate Zoe Saldana for playing her mom, but she still wishes that biopic will be flushed down the toilet where it belongs – Celebitchy

In other words, hooking up with Scott Isadick sounds about as fun and entertaining as watching an episode of Krapping Up The Kartrashians while sober – The Superficial 

What in “if Judy Jetson was Madonna’s back-up singer in the 90s” HELL is Emma Roberts wearing? – Drunken Stepfather

Andy Cohen’s parents are cute, but they’re no Golden Sisters – Towleroad

Kenya Moore’s Moore Manor (“More like WHORE Manor,” said Phaedra) is done while Chateau SheBroke is still a work in progress – Reality Tea 

Allow me to slow clap for Bella Thorne for giving us lot lizard eleganza – Hollywood Tuna 

And now, allow me to dry heave over Matt Bellamy and his piece wearing matching outfits at a fashion show – Popoholic

Bernadette Peters is on that Tom Brady diet, and I’m on the same diet her Dove bar-eating friend is on – The Cut 

How in the hell did The Berry get a hold of all of the private shirtless selfies my ex-boyfriends (in my head) texted me in the past? – The Berry 

Note to O.J. Simpson: Phoebe Price has got your number, hussy! – Instagram

I thought Goopy Paltrow’s dude was that Jonathan Cheban douche for a minute – Popsugar

This is what Nicholas Hoult’s ass cheeks look like, in case you didn’t know – OMG Blog

The Hoff is doing the Baywatch movie – SOW

Behold, the second coming of Anna Nicole Smith vs. J. Howard Marshall’s estate – The Hollywood Reporter

Pic: Vogue UK