Hot Slut Of The Day!

Australian Toaster Biscuits!

Back in the late 80s and early 90s, the tongues of us Americans were blessed with delicious things from foreign lands like Clearly Canada from Canada and Australian Toaster Biscuits from Australia (Okay, technically they were made in America by an American company, but whatever)!

Australian Toaster Biscuits were around for a minute or two in the 90s and were supposed to take English muffins down. They almost brought on World War 3, basically. I kind of forgot about them until reader Andrea asked me to make them HSOTD and said that she tried to make them at home using a recipe she found online, but they came out as hard as a didgeridoo. The original Australian Toaster Biscuits were like fluffy pillows of wheat and as soft as an Australian angel’s ass cheeks. I really don’t remember what they tasted like, but I’m sure they tasted like one of Paul Hogan’s air kisses and eating one felt like a koala hugging your tongue.

I totally remember the commercial, though, and when I watched it last night, I nearly knew half of the lines. My brain would go blank if you asked me what the capital city of Australia is, but I know the lines from a 90s biscuit commercial.

I love that little blond Australian girl filling the nooks and crannies of English muffins with a little hate. See, a Britain vs Australia war almost happened because of the shit she talked about English muffins.