Tom Jones Wants To Know If He’s Black

November 3, 2015 / Posted by:

Sweaty panties magnet Sir Tom Jones says that when he first came to America (I almost typed “came on America,” which probably would’ve been more fitting), many people thought he was black. The Welshman who’s been inducing coochie seizures for decades tells The London Times Magazine (via NYDN) that because of his voice and curly hair, some people have assumed that he’s part black. Carlton Banks’ idol is curious himself and so he’s going to get his DNA tested.

“A lot of people still think I’m black. When I first came to America, people who had heard me sing on the radio would be surprised that I was white when they saw me. Because of my hair a lot of black people still tell me I’m just passing as white.

When I was born, my mother came out in big dark patches all over her body. They asked if she had any black blood and she said she didn’t know. I’m going to get my DNA tested. I want to find out.”

The part about his mother being asked if she’s black because of the dark patches on her body made me squint. I thought it’s not unusual for a lady to get dark patches on her body after labor. And yes, I commented on that only because I wanted to slide “it’s not unusual” in there.

Sir Tom is totally giving Rachel Dolezal ideas. Expect her to scream the words “VINDICATED, BITCHES!” when her DNA results show that she’s 0.0000000000000000001% African.

And I don’t know if Sir Tom is part black, but I’d bet my monthly weed budget that he’s at least 25% Oompa Loompa.


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