Open Post: Hosted By Keanu Reeves On A Bike

October 13, 2015 / Posted by:

I was going to post a video of a baby pug trying to knock a fat pug off of a toy bike, but I decided against it. In light of Aunt Jen suing her 12-year-old nephew for fucking up her wrist with an over-excited hug, it just didn’t seem right. Because I’m sure that fat pug is going to take a page out of Aunt Jenny’s book by suing that baby pug for messing up its arm. That video is about to go from sweet to SERIOUS. So, here’s the next best thing: Keanu Reeves on a bike!

It’s only October, but it’s never too soon to think about going broke by buying Christmas presents. Neiman Marcus presented their ridiculous holiday catalog for the 1% on Today this morning and Keanu was on, because he’s selling something in that shit. Keanu co-owns a motorcycle company and for ONLY $150,000, you get one of his bikes and a ride with him.  Yes, a ride with Keanu may leave your thighs and your ass bone sore, but it’s not that kind of ride. BOO, I know. But I’m wondering, for $150,000, will he also bite your neck and turn you into an ageless vampire like him?

Pics: Splash

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