Hulk Hogan’s Sex Tape Is The Offensive Gift That Keeps On Offending

Last week, the WWE declared themselves Hulk Hogan-free after they confirmed that the jerkyfied walrus spewed out a bunch of racist shit in a sex tape. The National Enquirer and Radar published Hulk Hogan’s Paula Deen-approved dirty racist talk after they somehow got a hold of sealed transcripts from his sex tape. The transcripts were under seal by the court, because they’re part of Hulk Hogan’s $100 million lawsuit against Gawker.

Since Hulk got dropped by the WWE, he’s wondered why it’s not okay for him to say the n-word, but it’s okay for President Obama to say it while talking about racism in an interview. Hulk has also been re-tweeting pictures of his black Twitter followers to prove that he’s not a racist. Well, he better find pictures of his gay Twitter followers to re-tweet, because he’s about to get a slap down letter from GLAAD.

The National Enquirer and Radar say that elsewhere in the tape, Hulk, who has made pro-LGBT comments to the media in the past, mouth shits out a homophobic slur while talking to his friend’s wife/fuck partner Heather Clem. Hulk tells Heather about how he went back to his childhood home for an episode of Hogan Knows Shit and discovered that a “big fag” lives there.

“VH1 wanted me to do a big thing and go back to the house I grew up in,” Hulk says, discussing the Season Four finale of his show.

“So we knock on the door,” he continues, “and a big fag lives there now!”

Undeterred, the 61-year-old continued with his disgusting homophobic bile. “This half-gay was enamored with Linda,” he sniffs, of his ex-wife.

I know, this is SHOCKING information. If Hulk is going to say stupid  shit, he should at least make sense. How can the guy be a “big fag” and “half-gay” at the same time? And I hate Hulk Hogan a little more today, because in my head, I’m singing “half-gay” to the tune of Cher’s “Half-Breed.”

Again, this was all said before or after sex. What will The National Enquirer discover next? They’re going report that also in the sex tape, Hulk says he hates kittens, loves Donald Trump and as he humps on Heather, he screams “The holocaust didn’t happen!!!!” right before he busts an orange nut and collapses on her body. I do wonder what word Brooke Hogan would use to rhyme with “holocaust” in her follow-up poem.