Night Crumbs

62-year-old Jeff Goldblum is a dad for the first time. Jeff and his young ass wife have named their new bright red son Charlie Ocean. They should’ve named him NotMyGrandsonOkay Goldblum since I’m guessing the #1 question strangers will ask Jeff will be, “Awww, is that your grandson?” – Just Jared

Blind Item Time! A movie star, whose name I’m guessing rhymes with Men Bathpeck, was dumped by his wife for chasing the dragon – Lainey Gossip 

Whoopi Goldberg is still on Team Bill Cosby, because you know, she lost her damn mind a long time ago – The Superficial 

Kaley Cuoco’s husband is a kept bitch – Celebitchy

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOooooOOOO! – Reality Tea 

Rosie Huntington-Whateverly put on a negligee and wrapped a black sheer curtain around her body before calling it a day – Drunken Stepfather

The Swedish Shauna Sand named Victoria Silvstedt is wearing the outfit you wore all the time during the summer of 1990, but don’t worry, you wore it better – Hollywood Tuna 

Paz Vega has Adam Lambert hair in Esquire Mexico – Egotastic

Why, hello there, Zac Efron’s brother – Towleroad

That chick from Privileged and Pretty Little Liars is in a two piece – Popoholic

Watch out, little girls, dads are taking your jobs now – The Berry 

Subway has put Subway Jared on suspension for now – Jezebel

Matt Dallas married Blue Hamilton and now Blue Hamilton is Blue Dallas (which sounds like the name of a sad stripper) – Boy Culture

Rachel McAdams might be in the Doctor Strange movie – Pajiba

Rosie Perez is the latest trick to say “BYE BITCH” to The View, because she wants to focus on acting and make a sequel to It Could Happen To You starring her character (I wish) – Entertainment Weekly 

I’ve always said that the greatest dance talents are found at community pools in Mexico – SOW

This is what Meg Ryan’s face looks like now – Popsugar

Pic: Facebook