Night Crumbs

The floor of the Internet is covered with panty pudding from hos creaming over Jennifer Lawrence’s dog holder/bodyguard. Yes, yes, I’d totally hit it, but he’d have to drop the dog first, because if he didn’t, that’d just be wrong and I’m not into that kind of shit. Call me old-fashioned – Lainey Gossip 

“So that’s the bitch who stole my dress!” screamed a librarian while looking at the pictures of Dame St. Angie Jolie in Johannesburg – Lainey Gossip 

I won’t believe that Falkor Rimes is pregnant until she gets into a bikini, writes the words “I’M KNOCKED UP” on her belly and does cartwheels in front of the paps – Celebitchy

Things that can launch the Photoshop programs of a million horny dudes: A picture of Margot Robbie eating an ice cream – Drunken Stepfather

Country singer Randy Howard was killed during a shoot out with a bounty hunter. I’m sure that Randy Howard is in the afterworld writing the best country song about that mess – Jezebel

Ramon Singer gets to keep the house her ex boned his side piece in over and over again – Reality Tea 

Orange is the New Black is back, so why not look at these pictures of Natasha Lyonne’s nipple – The Superficial 

FINALLY, Bristol Palin’s thoughts on Miley Cyrus’ Paper interview – IDLYITW

Chris Pratt TRIES to sissy that walk – Towleroad

That wedding-hating drone is my hero – The Berry 

And these Filipino divers who can’t land for shit are also my heroes – Hollywood Tuna 

Miley Cyrus is dressed like a 9th grader during summer break circa 1994 – Popoholic

No. – Popsugar

Something I learned today: The sound a dude makes when he dumps a bunch of fire ants into his underwear is probably the same sound a dude make when he bones Parasite Hilton bareback-style – Gawker

Why do I have a feeling that the Porn Iguana’s mom is going to adopt that 40-year-old man and try to pass him off as 16 so she can sell him to some creep? – WWTDD

Sophia Bush is done with dating that dude she’s in Chicago P.D. with – Just Jared

Pic: Splash