Hot Slut Of The Day!

April 3, 2015 / Posted by:

The Vitameatavegamin Lucille Ball statue that is creeping out and terrorizing the people of her hometown Celoron, NY!

Yes, I mean THAT Lucille Ball. Not some other Lucille Ball who was the town crackhead and whose body was possessed by the dark-sided spirit of a deranged lemur on meth. That statue looks like a Sleestak in drag as Granny from The Beverly Hillbillies. Reader Brett, who sent this in, said the statue looks like “Clint Howard in a plastic Elvis wig during a bad peyote trip” and that’s spot on.

The terrifying, soul-snatching statue of Lucy went up in Celoron in 2009, but lately some of her fans and the town’s residents have been trying hard to get the city to remove it, send it back to Nightmare Land and replace it with a statue that actually looks like her. Yahoo! News says that one guy started a Facebook page titled “We Love Lucy! Get Rid Of This Statue!” and has been asking the mayor to rid their sight of that horrifying monster statue. The dude who is leading the fight says that he’s a fan of the sculptor’s other works but feels like the mark was missed on this statue. He basically said that if the statue stays, there will be a holy water drought in the East Coast, because whenever you walk by it at night you want to cleanse it while screaming, “SANTO DIOS!”

“Lucille Ball was not only an amazing comedienne, but she was a stunning beauty. Her sense of humor only made her more beautiful. This statue looks nothing like the beautiful Lucy we all know. If for no other reason than that… the statue should go. I don’t think this can be repaired. Take a look at the beautiful statues Nick at Nite created for ‘Bewitched’ and ‘The Honeymooners’ and Bob Newhart… it needs to be something more like those.

I think it looks like a monster. That is just my opinion. When you see it at night, it is frightening.”

The mayor said the statue haters can keep crying, but they’re not going to replace it since that would cost at least $8,000 and he’s not going to use taxpayer money on that. But a fund has been set up to raise money for a new statue. Well, if they raise the money to replace that statue, can they please send the old one to me? I’ll gladly take it off of their clammy, terrified hands. It’s the perfectly horrifying thing to prop up outside my door so that NOBODY ever bothers me again.

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