Night Crumbs

April 1, 2015 / Posted by:

Thanks to Katy Perry’s (probably) April Fools’ Day wig, I’ll never ever be able to scrub the dark-sided and heave-inducing image of Pimp Mama Kris shooting whipped cream out of her tits – Lainey Gossip 

Megan Fox serving up mouth breathing mannequin stiffness in Harper’s Bazaar ArabiaDrunken Stepfather

FYI: When Bradley Cooper goes beard browsing at the clubs, he wears earplugs – Celebitchy

The Oscars really don’t have shit on the bright shiny A-list extravaganza that AOL hosted in Times Square – Reality Tea

If Aubrey O’Day was going for” Transylvania real doll call girl on downers,” she pretty much nailed it  – Egotastic! 

Dear Crystal O’Connor (Side note: I hate that her name makes me think of the supreme goddess from Showgirls), I’m trashy enough to get pizza for my wedding, but I’m just a little classy enough to get it from California Pizza Kitchen – Towleroad

When are we going to find out that Rita Wilson cheated on Tom Hanks with Vanilla Ice in the 90s and gave birth to Chet Haze? – The Superficial 

So from now on, you can think of FourFiveSeconds as a Wilson Phillips song featuring RiRi, Kanye and that guy from the BeatlesJezebel

Um, I think Kylie Jenner got some of Khlozilla’s cooch fur stuck on her purse – Hollywood Tuna 

Dave Chappelle’s stalker obviously doesn’t know comedy, because you’re not supposed to throw the banana peel. You’re supposed to slip on it – WWTDD

LEAVE TARA REID ALOOOOOOOOOOOONE – SOW

Hilary Duff still has pool hair – Popoholic

Behold, cum gutters galore – The Berry 

Patton Oswalt took a break from hating on ginger earth angel Phoebe Price (no, I will NEVER forget) to defend Trevor Noah in a tweet rant – Just Jared

Joni Mitchell is still in ICU, but is awake and happy-ish – Popsugar

Suicide Squad added more cast members – Pajiba

“DAAAAAAAAAAD!!!” – Brooklyn Beckham to his dad – ICYDK

It’s like gay Christmas! Faye Dunaway is writing a tell-all about the making of Mommie DearestQueerty

Pic: Instagram

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