Hot Slut Of The Day!
I watch Golden Girls reruns on the Hallmark Channel at least 5 or 6 times a week, because just like how Muslims have to pray 5 times a day, I HAVE to watch my religion and pay homage to my deities at least 5 times a week. For the past couple of weeks, they’ve been replaying that one episode where Dorothy’s younger sister Gloria Harker comes to visit after losing all of the money her rich ass ex-husband left her. Gloria is all sad and shit and ends up filling her sadness with the dick belonging to Dorothy’s ex-husband Stan in Dorothy’s bed! Bitch showed Blanche that she isn’t the only seasoned shameless hussy in the game. The makers of those Golden Girls saint candles on Etsy (Side note: Thanks to everyone who has sent that link to me during the past few weeks) should add Gloria to the collection.
If none of that is making sense to you, because you haven’t seen every episode of the Golden Girls, then please write an angry letter to the district you went to school in telling them that they did you really, really wrong by not teaching you the wisdom of Dorothy and the three other messiahs of Florida.
In the episode where Gloria fucks on Stan, Gloria is played by Dena Dietrich. (Another actress plays Gloria in a previous episode). Dena Dietrich is Marlene Dietrich’s baby sister whom was never talked about because Marlene didn’t want the world to know she had a sister who was more beautiful, glamorous and talented than her. No, Dena Dietrich is not related to Marlene Dietrich. Dena Dietrich is from Pittsburgh!
I will forever know Dena Dietrich as Gloria Harker #2, but she is probably best known for playing Mother Nature in commercials for Chiffon Margarine in the 70s and 80s. While dressed like Vanessa Hudgens at Coachella, Mother Nature gets ticked into thinking that margarine (remember when that shit was supposed to be better for you?) is nature made butter. Bitch wreaks havoc on the Earth after finding out she got tricked and I’m pretty sure she’s still pissed. That explains the never-ending winter on the East Coast.
Dena Dietrich hasn’t worked since 2007 and I’m hoping she’s retired and is living off of that Chiffon Margarine money for the rest of her days.