Night Crumbs

March 5, 2015 / Posted by:

Goopy Paltrow hung out with The Seinfelds at a benefit yesterday and I’m sure at one point Goopy told them that Jessica Seinfeld’s hair is the exact shade of the caca water she shits up when she gets an enema after a 45-day kumquat seed and dolphin saliva fast- Lainey Gossip

Matthew Perry plays video games all day and never changes his sheets, so basically he’s like a 12 year old boy with a fake tanner obsession – Celebitchy

Rita Ora is wearing a trash bag dress and well, the jokes write themselves – Drunken Stepfather

I see that Teen Mom Jenelle’s relationships are still the epitome of stable and healthy – Reality Tea

Diablo Cody is rewriting the Barbie movie and she better write a scene where Magic Earring Ken gets caught blowing Allan Sherwood in Barbie’s Dreamhouse – Jezebel

Bill Cosby’s latest accuser wants him to tell the truth – The Superficial

FYI: The paps are still taking pictures of Ashley GreeneIDLYITW

Eva Longoria’s dress is so damn tight that I can practically see what she had for lunch. She had a kale salad with a crab cake, by the way – Popoholic

I’m still waiting for a Sherlock movie starring Detective La Toya, but I’ll take one starring Ian McKellan in the meantime – Towleroad

Please tell me David Gandy plays Patsy’s nudist boy toy in the AbFab movie – OMG Blog

Here’s Bob Barker pouring piss from a bedpan onto Adam Sandler’s head if you’re into that sort of thing- Hollywood Tuna

This panty creamer parade has way too many towels in it – The Berry

Martha Stewart will roast Justin Bieber. It’s a good thing – SOW

Benji Madden used the word “bae,” so does that mean that the word “bae” is officially dead and buried now? – Popsugar

And sex seconds after this picture was taken, Kim Zolciak’s wig popped off from the pressure of it all – HuffPo

If Olivia Pope doesn’t snatch that $4 polyester wig off of Lena Dunham’s head…. – Just Jared

Jeremy Sisto is sad he didn’t get Leonardo DiCaprio’s role in Titanic. I’m sure his checking account and agents are sad too – ICYDK

Pic: Getty

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