Night Crumbs

February 13, 2015 / Posted by:

Let the buff chanteuse Vin Diesel serenade you into Valentine’s Day with his rendition of “My Heart Is Open.” My heart IS open, but my ears are closed and only because my sense of hearing can’t handle Vin’s powerful smooth crooning – Jezebel

“Why does it smell like shrimp dim sum dumplings?” is what the people in the first row at the Oscars are going to say when Goopy Paltrow and her steamed vagina present – Lainey Gossip

Taylor Swift, age 25, and Karlie Kloss, age 22, play The Best Best Friends Game – Drunken Stepfather

The Notorious RBG says she sipped on some sweet nectar before the State of the Union. Two things: 1) Doesn’t everyone? 2) Don’t you kind of have to if you want to get through that boring shit? – Towleroad

Blake NotSoLively, a woman who is rich, has a chef and can work out all day while her nannies take care of her baby, looks like this a month after giving birth – Celebitchy

Well, now we know that Shaq can use Kelly Ripa’s head as a ledge to set his man titty on – WWTDD

Elegance is Paz de la Huerta naked under a Saran Wrap coat – (NSFW) Egotastic!

The minute Brandi Glanville quits Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is the minute that frozen pigs from Hell fly out of my asshole, because that attention whore is not going to give up camera time – Reality Tea

Lucy Hale shows Hilary Duff that she’s not the only one who can walk down the street in front of the paps – IDLYITW

Michelle Duggar once said that the world’s entire population can fit within the city limits of Jacksonville, FL. Well, I’m pretty sure that if you tried fit all the woman who claimed to have been drugged by Bill Cosby in Jacksonville, they’d have to expand the city limits by a lot. So Michelle’s math is a little off – The Superficial

Okay, but why is Doutzen Kroes wearing the yellow rag my mom washes windows with on top of her head? – Hollywood Tuna

Kanye West’s dumb explanation for why North West cried at his ugly fashion show is making me cry like North West – Pink Is The New Blog

What in 80s Barbie businesswoman go-go dancer hell is Bella Thorne wearing? – Popoholic

I wish I could make tampon snowmen – The Berry

In “Stop Playing And Just Show Us The Salchicha Already Because We Know You’re Going To Eventually” news… – Popsugar

Hide yo school buses, Goopy Paltrow is on a Vespa again – Celebslam

Amy Schumer has a message for the tricks who call her fat – Pajiba

Never 4get Darva KongerHuffPo

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