Hot Slut Of The Day!
Velvet, the TV pilot from 1984 that was never allowed to be the masterpiece it could have been!
One of my friends (yeah, I can’t believe I have those either) sent me the link to the intro of this exquisite work of captivating television art that should’ve been TV’s crown jewel. Velvet had all the ingredients for the greatest TV show of the decade, if not century, if not history of television. It was a shameless Charlie’s Angel knock-off with an all star cast! It starred Shari Belafonte, Leah Ayres (aka fake Marcia from The Bradys), Mary-Margaret Humes (aka Dawson’s mom from Dawson’s Creek) and Sheree J. Wilson from Dallas and Walker, Texas Ranger. Polly Bergen played a Charlie-like character. Aaron Spelling was one of the producers. It had EVERYTHING. I mean, grace your eyes against the synopsis from IMDB:
A female team of government agents, under the guise of owners of a popular worldwide franchise of aerobic centers, match wits with a group of criminals who have kidnapped a top defensive specialist and his ailing son, intending to sell him to the highest bidder.
A team of glamorous government agent masquerading as aerobics instructors?! Throw in Uma Thurman as Mia Wallace and that’s Fox Force Five. If someone ever questions you when you say that the 80s was the greatest decade of them all, shut them down by saying, “TV executives actually okay’d a pilot about crime-fighting aerobics instructors. The end.”
But sadly, Velvet didn’t get picked up. Only the pilot episode was made and it was later aired as a TV movie. This is the nearly 3-minute-long intro that will take you higher. There’s no need to freebase caffeine this morning, because this is the only picker-upper you need:
Dear Hollywood, it’s not too late to right your wrong by ordering a full season of Velvet. Shari, Fake Marcia, Dawson’s mom and April Ewing are still available. Long live Velvet!