Night Crumbs

Superman, who’s looking like an extra plump Ball Park frank in a tux, and Captain America posed next to each other at the BAFTAs this weekend and since they were in the same room they should have taken the opportunity to find out who America’s strongest superhero is by wrestling naked in a tub full of ketchup and Krispy Kreme glaze as a bald eagle hummed a Skynyrd song. You probably didn’t read any of that because you’re too busy screaming, “Rub your beards together!” – Lainey Gossip
Nipple Tingler of the Day: Tom Hiddleston in a tux – Celebitchy
Tamra Judge from The Real Housewives of Orange County is somebody’s grandma now – Reality Tea
Cara Delawhatever and Kendull Jenner’s lesbian shoot for Love Magazine is supposed to be erotic, but in one picture it looks like Cara is trying to shake a doody bubble out of Kendull – Drunken Stepfather
Madge’s Grammy ass flash was an accidental wardrobe malfunction and in Madge talk that means it was 100% staged and she choreographed it for days – Towleroad
Natalie Portman was at the Berlinale film festival, but the real star of the red carpet was Christian Bale’s luscious Yanni locks – Popoholic
Padma Lakshmi’s in a two piece – Hollywood Tuna
Zhang Ziyi’s boyfriend delivered her 9 carat diamond engagement ring via drone and probably because he couldn’t lift that heavy ass boulder – Jezebel
Since God spoke to Katy Perry before her Super Bowl Halftime Show, he should have done humanity a favor by telling her to add a whole lot more Missy Elliott and Dancing Sharks? – The Superficial
The director of Jersey Shore Massacre was ROBBED! – Pajiba
Patricia Velasquez comes out as a gayelle – OMG Blog
Charlize Theron and Sean Penn went to a park together, because every now and again they like to bond by yelling at squirrels and punching birds – WWTDD
Future Headline: Tom Cruise Proposes To Beautiful Girlfriend He Met At The Japanese Hotel She Works At – The Buzz
This remake of Kramer vs. Kramer is really depressing – Gawker
Everybody got a piece of Sam Smith last night – Popsugar
It ain’t True Detective unless someone is working a ponytail and stache combo – Just Jared
Pic: Getty