Leaping Alien Lizards!

January 12, 2015 / Posted by:

It looks like Benedict Cumberbatch is the Jennifer Lawrence of this awards season. Yay.

During that awkward Golden Globes skit where Margaret Cho (done up as a North Korean journalist for a movie magazine) got her picture taken with Meryl Streep, the ever thirsty Babadook Chamomilepunch just had to snatch away some of the attention by jumping into the picture. He looked like my chihuahua trying to get on the bed. I get that CUMBERBOMBING is B. Cums’ thing, but this shit was so choreographed and staged that I could practically hear Debbie Allen scream, “3..2…JUMP,” off camera. B. Cums even changed into a blinding white blazer so that everyone could clearly see him jumping over the Meryl. ¬†Was it really necessary? B. Cums already got a lot of attention for his engagement and for the cumberbaby growing in a human woman’s uterus, and now he’s trying to get more attention by Jennifer Lawrence’ing his way through awards season. What’s next? He’s going to stage a fall at the Oscars and tell a magazine how he just loves the smell of his fiancee’s pregnancy farts?

What am I saying!

B. Cums wasn’t going full attention whore by photobombing that picture. He was trying to escape! That wasn’t a leap for attention, it was a leap for help. He was obviously trying to jump away from the conniving, scheming, hussy harlot who trapped him into being a father and husband. I’ve seen all of the Planet Earths so I should know a lizard’s distress face when I see one. And here I am calling him an attention whore when he’s in pain and trying to get away from that lizard trapper. Shame on me.

And if Golden Globe winner Eddie Redmayne has any love in his heart for the alien lizard community, he’d drop out of the Oscar race and let B. Cums take the award for Best Actor. After everything B. Cums has been through, he deserves it.

Pics: Wenn.com, GIF: Vulture

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