Night Crumbs

January 7, 2015 / Posted by:

Arianna Huffington threw possible future Oscar nominee Jennifer Aniston (typing that awakened a bunch of locusts) a party to celebrate Cake and it must have been a formal event because Chelsea Handler didn’t flash her tits and Justin Theroux wore an elegant cock ring belt. (Sadly, Aniston didn’t wear her just-as-elegant cock ring necklace) – Lainey GossipĀ 

Speaking of formal and classy events, Gloria Govan popped her tit outĀ at The Wedding Ringer premiere. The tit is in your court, Chelsea Handler. Don’t let Gloria take the game! – WWTDD

Anne Hathaway has the perfect Oscar hosting advice for Doogie Howser Celebitchy

Olivia Munn’s chichis make a nice puppy head rest – Drunken Stepfather

I hope Teen Mom Jenelle doesn’t scheduled her wedding on the same day as the Ke$ha concert – Reality Tea

Beth Ditto got married – Towleroad

The Ant-Man movie looks like a boring mess, but I will watch it if his arch rival is Ladybug-Boy – The Superficial

Bill Gates demonstrates a machine that can turn caca into drinkable water. This is great, because it means that sometime in the future I’ll be able to turn that Miley Cyrus CD I bought for whatever reason into drinkable water – Hollywood Tuna

And somewhere, a fancy baby is dribbling food all over its clothes because Yaya DaCosta took its bib – Tom + Lorenzo

If Peter Pan and Tinkerbell had a really annoying baby – Popoholic

What did low-level STUNT QUEEN Brandi Glanville do for attention this time? – Jezebel

I just said, “Yeah, I would,” out loud while looking at these pictures of Ben Affleck in a t-shirt and my dog gave me a look that either said “I’m judging you” or “I’m judging you, but I’ll stop if you give me some bacon” – Popsugar

The key to world peace: Hot firefighters posing with fluffy animal friends – The Berry

“Steely Dan? I’ve never heard of him” said every teenager while looking at the Coochella line-up – OMG Blog

How to get fired from your hospital job and never work in another hospital again in one easy step! – Pajiba

If by “vagina,” Iggy Azalea means “annoying songs and shitty personality,” then she’s right! – HuffPo

If I ever see Wonky McValtrex out in public, I’m going to hand her a tiny white cotton ball with Sharpie eyes painted on it and tell her it’s the tiniest dog in the world and it can be hers for only $500,000! – ICYDK

Fifty Shades of Grey gets an R-rating and yes, the R stands for RunFromThisShitAndLogOntoBrazzersInstead – Just Jared

Pic: Getty

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