When Daniel Craig signed on to play James Bond, he signed on for five movies and he’s shooting his fourth one now, but that hasn’t stopped hos from talking about who should be the next James Bond. My first pick has always been Carrot Top, because the world is ready for a James Bond who is a ginger American and shares a face with Jackie Stallone. My next choice is serial panty cream-maker Idris Elba and many people including Sony co-chair Amy Pascal also think that the world needs to see him stirring a martini (with his peen, hopefully) as James Bond. But some think that Idris can’t be James Bond, a fictional character, solely because he’s black. Rush Limbaugh shat this out last week:
“James Bond is a total concept put together by Ian Fleming. He was white and Scottish. Period. That is who James Bond is, was. But now [they are] suggesting that the next James Bond should be Idris Elba, a black Briton, rather than a white from Scotland. But that’s not who James Bond is, and I know it’s racist to probably point this out.”
Sean Connery has been the only Scot to play James Bond, so the Oxi must have ate the part of Rush’s brain that remembered that Timothy Dalton (a Brit), George Lazenby (an Australian), Pierce Brosnan (an Irishdude) and many more non-Scots have been James Bond. Idris responded to the Bond rumors and to the hos who say he can’t play James Bond with that little tweet above.
And now I really want Idris Elba to be the next Bond, because he’d be a hot Bond and it would make Rush Limbaugh’s head pop off. When Oxi starts falling from the sky, you’ll know that Rush’s head blew off of his neck because Idris Elba got cast as the next James Bond.