Hot Slut Of The Day!

Whitney’s Yogurt, the most decadent and classiest yogurt of the 80s and 90s, if not of all-time!

Back in the 80s, when Joan Collins wasn’t luxuriating in a bubble bath while wearing diamonds and sipping the finest champagne out of a crystal flute, she was luxuriating on her pink satin bedspread while making important business calls on her vintage French phone in between nibbling on a silver spoonful of Whitney’s yogurt. Whitney’s yogurt was a yogurt for gourmet connoisseur who would only let the finest of foods touch their tongues. Whitney’s was the Vienetta of yogurts. It was THAT high class.

During the 80s and 90s when everyone was stuck on that non-fat this and non-fat that trend, Whitney’s stood alone in the yogurt section as a product of true rich decadence! Whitney’s (which wasn’t named after Whitney Houston or it would have come in flavors like Doody Bubble Berry and Crack Is Whack Cherry) was made with whole milk and it was supposedly really creamy. I never had it, because I never asked my mom to buy it. I thought it was yogurt for the rich the same way I thought Fancy Feast was cat food for the pussies of the rich.

Whitney’s went away some time in the 90s, because America just wasn’t ready for opulent yogurt that probably tasted like Robin Leach’s dick cream (aka like pure luxury).

The commercial for Whitney’s should’ve shown Zsa Zsa Gabor bathing in it, but instead it starred an actress that a YouTube commenter says is Jane Cameron who played Nancy in Another World:

I bet if you got a glimpse into the safe in Joan Collins’ bedroom closet, you’d find diamonds, love letters from kings, the majority shareholder’s agreements for all the companies she took over and the secret recipe for Whitney’s Yogurt.