Do The Bronies Have An Alibi?

Can’t the Furries have a dry hump and hug orgy without worrying about getting gassed to death?!

Over the weekend, an evil doer or group of evil doers overtook Miley Cyrus’ ass as the Furries’ number one enemy when they intentionally unleashed chlorine gas inside of the Hyatt Recency O’Hare (that pun writes itself) in Rosemont, Illinois during the MidWest FurFest convention. The Chicago Tribune says that the fire department was called to the Hyatt at around 12:40 on Sunday morning after several guests complained about a “nitrous odor” taking over the 9th floor. Thousands of people were evacuated from the hotel after hazardous materials technicians discovered chlorine gas in the air. 19 people who complained about having the heaves and dizziness were hospitalized. Technicians found chlorine powder in the stairwell at the 9th floor. Because of the way it was released, police believe that a furry-hating piece of trash tried to commit furry genocide.

It took technicians about two hours to fully decontaminate the area and make it safe for the Furries to frolic once again. Everyone was let back into the Hyatt at 4:20 in the morning. Yes, 4:20, the perfect time for them to cleanse the air of all that doom with clouds of the good shit. The Rosemont police said they are treating the gas leak as a crime and have launched an investigation. Yesterday morning, the Midwest FurFest released a statement telling everyone that they don’t have to zip up the crotch part in their costumes, because the fun and furriness must go on.

As we wake up today we want to continue to provide the best possible convention that we can, despite the trying circumstances. The convention will be running on a full normal programming schedule today. We ask you to continue to be patient, and remember that the volunteers who make Midwest FurFest happen intend to give 110% to make sure that the fun, friendship, and good times of Midwest FurFest 2014 overshadow last night’s unfortunate incident.

To dispel rumors: Because this was an unforeseen possibly criminal act, Midwest FurFest will not be offering refunds, nor will the Hyatt Regency O’Hare be comping any rooms.

Well, if you have to stand out in the cold for a few hours, you might as well do it in a Furry costume.

Imagine standing outside of the Hyatt at 1 in the morning and watching a flurry of Furries run toward you in a panic. You’d punch your head and curse yourself out for doing all that acid as a teenager.

The only good thing to come out of this senseless attack against the Furries is the media’s reaction after finding out what a Furry is:

Mika Brzezinski obviously QUIT THAT BITCH, because all this time she didn’t know there was a community of people into the same fetish she’s into, so she ran off to join them.