Hot Sluts Of The Day!

The glamorous and demure Aerobicise swans who scooted sweaty, warm gracefulness all over Showtime and MTV in the 80s!

At my house, we didn’t get cable until the early 90s and we only got it because a guy at my mom’s work sold her a descrambler box on the cheap. (What is the statue of limitations for descrambler boxes?) So I never knew that while I was watching boring, basic antenna TV, HIGH ART was being broadcast on MTV and Showtime.

Dlisted reader Elaina, who sent this in, said that this “Jane Fonda’s answer to soft-core Skinemax porn” shit first aired late at night on Showtime and then on MTV (back when MTV showed QUALITY television). The Aerobicise swans breakout moment came in 1984 when Axl watched them in Friday the 13th Part 4.

The Aerobicise segments were simple yet highly, highly artistic. A group of graceful swans, who were done up like they just sashayed out of a Glamour Shots studio, stood in a circle on a Lazy Susan of perfection and busted out some stunning moves that made them look like they were doing an ancient tribal dance to make Gerard Butler appear. Long before Miley Cyrus smeared salmonella all over Robin Thicke’s crotch by rubbing her undercooked chicken paillard ass on it, MTV filled the eyes of viewers with twerking glamour like this:

I don’t know whether to say they look like they’re working the invisible rubber off of an invisible three-way dildo or if they look like they’re demonstrating a Duggar birthing circle.

Those moves that look like something out of a doody bubble ballet… That crimped hair… That delicately applied Wet ‘N Wild liquid eyeliner… That porn music…. Add this clip to the overstuffed-as-hell filed labeled “This Is Why The 80s The Absolute Best.“