Blind Items: I Guess, You Guess

June 6, 2014 / Posted by:

Here are two fun (or not so fun) facts about one of your favorite music artists of all time!

You already know that he is married. However, that commitment apparently ends as soon as he hits the road. He makes sure he has a new hooker arranged for every stop on the tour. They all sign non-disclosures.

You don’t want to stand too close to him. Why not? He stinks! Someone who traveled with him describes it as “The worst body odor in the world.” The weird thing is that he actually prides himself on his own stench! He thinks that other people should want to be near him and smell his pungent scent.

BONUS CLUE: He is not currently on tour, but he was on tour within the past year.

BONUS CLUE: He doesn’t really have sex for hours and hours. But he likes that you think he does. (Blind Gossip)

Sting? If this is true, then I guess he gets prostitution whores for the convenience, because I know many sluts who would get into his stank for free. They wouldn’t even care that he smells like a quesadilla made of dick cheese, armpit grease and butt corn tortillas. They’d close their nostrils with a clothespin and dive into that musk.

From the outside, this reality couple looks like the perfect pair. She is hot, he is successful, and their life includes a beautiful family, a beautiful home, designer duds, and lavish parties.

The inside story is a little different.

She is busy juggling a job, kids, charity work, and the TV show.

He is juggling, too. He’s juggling the balls of several handsome young boy toys!

Yes, his wife knows. They have an arrangement. He can have as many boy toys as he wants… as long as she can spend as much money as she wants. She isn’t buying a new house… but she is adding to her designer shoe collection. (All About The Tea via Blind Gossip)

Lisa Vanderpump’s out, because her kids aren’t kids anymore. Giuliana Rancic is out, because unless you’re into insects, I don’t think anyone would describe her as “hot.” Tori Spelling’s out, because the only thing Dean’s successful at is being a professional fuck up. It could be Kyle Richards and Mauricio, but I’m going to guess Mama June and Sugar Bear? I mean, Sugar Bear is the perfect gay sugar daddy nickname.

This B list mostly movie actress had a fight at lunch the other day with her almost A list actor husband because she wants to do Playboy and he is saying no. (CDAN)

Thor and his wife Elsa Pataky? And really, I’d rather see Thor’s tits in Playboy than hers.

For years I’ve been saying that she is such a bitch. Like, terrifying. And humourless, unless you’re famous. But on a red carpet? If she’s sneering at you? There’s venom. Behind that cool, tall beauty, she’s vicious.

Now, maybe I understand why.

Turns out she likes her cocaine. She’s much smarter about it than, say, people who end up under LA bridges with sketchy explanations, or child stars who rage down the Pacific Coast Highway chasing down their enemies. How does she keep winning awards and protecting her reputation? How has she kept the shit off of her? Because beyond her love life, there has never, ever been any gossip about her indulgences, beyond the occasional fruit, especially now that she has someone else to look after.

One explanation (on top of her discretion): Customer Loyalty. Same dealer for a decade. He supplies only to very exclusive clientele and is selective about his regular customers. She’s a regular customer. It’s more than occasional bump. Never mind the boyfriend, that might be her most steady relationship. (Lainey Gossip)

Charlize Theron? And just like that, her choices in dudes suddenly makes crystal clear sense. You’d have to be coked up to get on Sean Penn’s snausage.

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