Night Crumbs

April 9, 2014 / Posted by:

The floor of a Barnes & Noble in NYC was covered with flopping vulva, because when Rob “Pretty Hurts” Lowe sashayed on through for a book signing, the coochies of dozens of woman blew right off. And the only way you’re reading this is if you have eyeballs on your tongue, because I’m sure you’re licking Rob’s pretty pretty face – Lainey Gossip 

The Ultimate Warrior died – The Superficial

And I’m just going to assume that this “pants off, ass up” photo shoot starring RiRi is for the cover of American Vogue Drunken Stepfather

But when isn’t Brandi Glanville filling her plastic mouth hole with whiskey and Xanax tea? – Celebitchy

In other words, Pimp Mama Kris bought 399,999 copies of VogueReality Tea

Minnie Driver’s in a bikini – Hollywood Tuna

Derrick Gordon has become the first NCAA Division 1 basketball player to publicly announce that he loves peen! – Towleroad

I can’t wait for Chris Martin to fight back against Goopy Paltrow’s smear campaign by leaking pictures of her eating a piece of bread not made from organic flax seed flour cultivated by a 125-year-old farmer in Belgium – Jezebel

The GOOP Film Festival sounds like Hell’s answer to Cannes – Pajiba

Justin Bieber has his favorite diaper-changer back in his life again – Popoholic

Some hot pieces I’d like to do the Downward Dog with – The Berry

And Jill Duggar’s fiance went on to say, “It was great to grab her hand for the first time, but I had to pull away real quick to cover up the wet spot on my crotch.” – ICYDK

The minion who runs Kim Kardashian’s Instagram page is as dumb as she is (it’s probably Rob) – IDLYITW

Madge’s homeless brother sings “Like A Prayer” and sings it better live than she does – HuffPo

Beyonce wants you to know she went on another vacation none of us will ever be able to afford – Popsugar

Katie Holmes and Jason Segel are not sucking on each other’s fuck parts – Just Jared

Please let those red cans slip, please let those red cans slip – SOW

Justin Long’s got Derp Face and Bruce Jenner hair, and I still would – Moe Jackson

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