Hot Sluts Of The Day!
O’Pat and O’Mike, the Leprechauns who screwed with Porky Pig in the Looney Tunes episode “The Wearing of The Grin.“
The crackhead Leprechaun of Mobile, Alabama who traded his pot of gold in for two crack rocks and a broken light bulb will forever be my favorite leprechaun of all the leprechauns. Later tonight, I will shine a light at a tree and place a box of frozen thin mints (the closest thing I have to crack) in front of that tree as a tribute to all the crackhead leprechauns out there. The Alabama Leprechaun should’ve been my first thought this morning, but when I realized it was St. Patrick’s Day, I immediately thought of a Looney Tunes cartoon my kindergarten teacher showed us while we ate our way to diabetes by shoveling green cupcakes into our mouth holes.
In that cartoon, Porky Pig’s ass gets lost while traveling in Dublin and goes to a castle for help. A human (aka a O’Mike sitting on the shoulders of O’Pat) answers the door and tells Porky Pig to get the hell out, because only he and leprechauns are allowed in the castle. Just as Porky Pig ignores him, a club falls on his head and knocks his ass out. When he wakes up, the two shifty leprechauns accuse him of trying to steal their pot of gold and he’s sent to leprechaun court where he’s found guilty and his punishment is being forced to wear the Green Shoes. The Green Shoes are the Irish version of the Red Shoes: they make its wearer dance the jig non-stop. Porky Pig can’t stop dancing the jig and he dances until he goes crazy and falls into a boiling pot of gold. He wakes up in the castle in the same spot where the club fell on his head and he gets all damn scared and runs out of the castle as O’Mike watches his ass and smiles. It was a fucked up, dark-sided St. Patrick’s Day cartoon that messed with mind as a child.
When I ask myself, “What in the hell do the Red Shoes have to do with leprechauns?” The only answer I come up with is, “NOTHING! Those Looney Tunes writers must’ve been smoking the same stuff as the Alabama Leprechaun!”
Happy St. Patrick’s Day (aka Booze Appreciation Day), everyone!